When I consider the values that I hope to instill in my children, gratitude is at the top of the list. 

This is in part because gratitude is, in my humble opinion, the appropriate response to the circumstances of our lives. I can only speak for myself and my children, though I suspect that this is true for many people reading this post: we have been given much. We live in house that protects us from the heat and cold, we never worry about where our next meal will come from, we have good health and healthcare providers whom we trust to assist us if/when medical troubles come our way, and we have dear friends and family members who accompany us, bringing joy and meaning to our lives on a daily basis. As people of faith, we ought to go through life appreciating the goodness that we have been given.  

I also value gratitude highly because I don’t think it is possible to be a truly grateful person without developing a whole host of other important values along the way. For instance, gratitude brings forth humility. When we adopt a posture of gratefulness, we acknowledge that we haven’t “earned” and don’t “deserve” the goodness of our lives. We have simply been given it, and all we can do is say “thank you” for it. Gratitude, in other words, puts us in our proper place, as humble receivers of the goodness of God and our fellow humans. 

Gratitude also produces wonder and awe. When we take what’s in front of us – whether it’s a cup of coffee, a smile from a stranger, our favorite song popping up on the radio, or a sunny day – as a gift, not a given, it changes how we look at it. The “thing” isn’t just a “thing” any more; it’s a beautiful, miraculous, delightful and tender aspect of the bounty that God has bestowed. 

And of course there is the added bonus that gratitude is good for mental and physical health, according to numerous research studies. When I consider the anxiety and depression that plague so many, and the many benefits that gratitude brings to a life, of course I want to help my children cultivate a grateful heart! 

Here are a few ideas of ways to do that.

Voice your gratitude 

I think most people would agree that children learn more through the examples we set than the instructions we give. Telling our children, “it’s important to have a grateful heart,” therefore, is going to have less impact on them than us demonstrating our own grateful hearts through the words that we say and the attitudes we embody. Keeping this in mind, I try to voice my gratitude anytime I feel it in my heart in order to model for my children a life shaped by gratefulness. Here’s what this looks like in practice:

• When I take my first sip of coffee and sigh at its deliciousness, I say, “That is so good! Wow, I’m grateful for the farmers who grew the beans to give me such a yummy start to my morning!”
• When a stranger is nice to us in the grocery store or post office, I thank them, and then later in the car with my kids I say something along the lines of, “That person was so kind to us. It really brightened my day and I’m so grateful for them.”
• When my husband does one of the many small acts a day that makes my life easier, I give a big and hearty thank you. 

Have a dinner time gratitude practice 

In addition to modeling gratitude, it can be helpful to give children an opportunity to practice demonstrating their gratitude. A simple way to do this is having a dinnertime ritual involving everyone at the table sharing something for which they were grateful that day. Not only does this ritual help children practice voicing gratitude, it also gives you an extra peek into their days.

Play music that reflects thankfulness 

I love a seasonal playlist, and I’m a big believer in the pedagogical impact of music, so you better believe that I’m blasting a thanksgiving oriented playlist throughout the month of November. There are loads of good options on spotify, youtube, and other streaming services.

Keep a family gratitude journal

Noting one’s blessings in a gratitude journal is a common individual practice, and I love the idea of turning the habit into a familial one. Perhaps you could keep this cute mini journal on your entryway shelf, coffee table, or some other communal spot, and encourage all your family members to add to it as they feel moved by gratitude. 

However you choose to practice gratitude this month (and every month, for that matter), I pray that this season leaves you and your loved ones attentive to your blessings and moved to bless others.