A few years ago, we started a Lenten and Easter tradition in my family. During Lent, we keep a pottery bowl filled with dried beans (I shoot for ones as close to dark purple as I can find) in the center of our kitchen table, along with an empty mason jar, and anytime one of our children makes some kind of sacrifice, they get to move a bean from the bowl to the jar. For the purpose of this activity, we define sacrifice as giving up something we like or doing something extra to show love—just like Jesus did for us. We remind our kids that sacrifices are hard, but we try to do them without complaining. 

Our kids are surprisingly enthused to make sacrifices and move beans throughout the duration of Lent, and of course as a parent I relish the opportunity to motivate and honor putting the wants and needs of others above our own. I notice my kids feeling satisfied by making sacrifices, and this feels important. 

Then, on Easter morning, something special happens. The dried beans that filled the jar are given new life in the form of jelly beans; the satisfaction of sacrifice for the sake of others is replaced with Easter JOY in the form of candy. Then, throughout the Easter season, moments of intentionally choosing and celebrating joy are rewarded with a jelly bean. 

There was a time at which we rewarded acts of kindness throughout the season of Easter with a jelly bean, but I switched my tune this year in an effort to intentionally draw attention to the importance of joy during the 50 days of Easter. We tell our kids that joy is a happy feeling in your heart from knowing God loves you—and it grows when you notice the goodness around you and thank God for it. We also tell them that Easter is a great time to celebrate joy, because Jesus rising from the dead is the biggest sign of God’s love. When we get a happy feeling in our heart from feeling sunshine on our face, or laughing with our brother or sister, or taking a bite of chocolate, we are feeling God’s love. God gave us sunshine, our siblings, and chocolate, afte rall. (God gave us everything good!). 

In some ways, I think it’s counter-intuitive to “reward” joy. Shouldn’t the joy be a reward in and of itself? Well, yes. But then again, shouldn’t the sacrifices of Lent be ends unto themselves? Is it even a sacrifice if you get a prize for it? 

Theoretically, I don’t believe that there should be external rewards for behaviors that ought to be internally motivated (such as sacrifices and joy). But here’s the thing: kids’ brains are developing, their habits are forming, their ways of looking at life are being shaped. As such, their childhoods are the optimal time to help them create patterns of behavior – putting others first; noticing joyful moments with gratitude – that will become their way of being in the world. Left to their own devices, children aren’t necessarily going to gravitate towards sacrifice and gratitude; it’s our job as parents and caregivers to encourage and celebrate these behaviors while kids are young, so that they learn to feel the satisfaction of them and go on to live lives shaped by these mindsets and actions in the future. 

And here’s another important piece of this: I want to cultivate within my children a low bar for joy. I want them to delight in that first sip of lemonade after coming inside on a warm day. I want them to notice how good the wind in their faces feels as they ride their scooters down the alleyway. I want them to not take for granted how good it feels to be hugged by a loved one. I want them to see these things for what they are: gifts from a God who loves us. And I believe that rewarding joy with jelly beans helps kids hold a magnifying glass up to their lives so that they can see more clearly all the good that fills their days. They are motivated to notice joy… so they notice joy. Even when the jellybeans are gone, the habit of noticing will last. 

At this point, it’s clear that my family is all about that jar of joyful jelly beans! But if for any reason that won’t work for you or your family, here are a few other ideas for celebrating the joy of Easter this season:

Keep a Gratitude Journal

As an individual or with your family, take time at the end of the day to write down things for which you felt grateful throughout the day. You can keep a gratitude note on your phone, or use a pretty journal like this one.

Have a Dinner Time Joy Ritual 

As you sit down at the table, have everyone go around and share a moment that they experienced joy during the day. This is a great time for parents to model for children that joy can be found and felt in the simplest of things. 

Make God and Jesus’ Love a Prayer Focus 

Meditate on God’s love; take deep breaths in, imagining that you are filling yourself with God’s love. Encourage your children to do the same. Be intentional about telling your children every day this season that Jesus loves them, and help them give thanks to God for Jesus’ love. 

Make a Joyful Playlist

Whether you choose songs that spark joy, or songs where joy is an explicit focus (“I’ve got the Joy, Joy, Joy down in my heart” comes to mind), being purposeful about your music choices during this season can set a tone in your home. 

Opportunities for joy surround us daily, and there is no time to notice them quite like the Easter season. May each happy feeling in your heart this season remind you of God's love for you!