August is such a rich month for feast days and solemnities, with 15 out of the 31 days marked by the remembrance of a particular saint or event of importance. With months like these, I often find myself looking for themes and groupings across the set-apart days. For instance, July is canonized Popes month, with ten feast days of popes, while October is what I like to call “heavy hitters” month with the feast days of several of my personal favorite saints – St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, and St. Jude.

As I looked over the August calendar, I felt a pull towards the theme of motherhood as I noticed the Memorials of St. Clare on August 11, the Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary on August 22, and St. Monica on August 27. Clare, Mary and Monica: three virtuous and powerful women and mothers, each in their own way. 

In honor of these August feast days, join me in reflecting on what St. Clare, St. Monica, and the Queenship of Mary teach us about motherhood. 

Motherhood is more than biological

As a consecrated virgin, St. Clare never married or bore children, but she is regarded by many as a spiritual mother. For starters, inspired by the teachings of St. Francis of Assisi, St. Clare founded the Order of Poor Ladies, a monastic religious order for women in the Franciscan tradition. Originally, the Order of Poor Ladies (now known as the Poor Clares) was directed by St. Francis, but it didn’t take long for him to turn leadership of the group over to Clare. Clare was neither power-hungry nor outspoken, and it was only with reluctance that she took on the role of abbess; even once abbess, she referred to herself by terms such as mother or servant rather than a more dominant or prestigious title. 

To the nuns within her order, Clare was a mother as she looked out for them, protected them, and guided them. St. Clare invites all of us to consider the ways we can be mothers to people beyond our own biological or adopted children. Can we be mothers to the children in our neighborhoods, the children with whom we work, and the children who make up our extended families?

Motherhood is more than hugs and giggles 

Here’s a fun fact about St. Monica: she’s not only the patron saint of mothers; she’s also the patron saint of difficult children. I love how this patronage duo underscores the reality that to mother is to deal (at least at times) with difficult children. It’s especially funny in this case of St. Monica considering that her difficult child was none other than St. Augustine, eventual bishop, theologian, and doctor of the church who is regarded as one of the most influential philosophers in the history of the Western world. 

While it’s easy in hindsight to laugh at the trouble that this saintly man gave his good old mama, let’s not forget just how aggravated and heartstick St. Monica was at the time of Augustine’s youth and young adulthood. While Monica was devoted to Jesus, Augustine maintained a prolonged rejection of her Christian faith, engaged in a worldly and debaucherous lifestyle, and lied to her repeatedly. 

St. Monica reminds us that motherhood is more than hugs and giggles, and even more than nourishing, cleaning up after, and disciplining. Motherhood also involves heartache and likely, at one time or another, some hand-wringing and hair-pulling. In the hardest moments of being a parent, can we take a deep breath and ask for St. Monica’s intercession?

Motherhood is a uniquely important role 

The Memorial of the Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary honors Mary as Queen of Heaven and Earth, highlighting her unique closeness to Christ. 

It goes without saying that closeness to Jesus shouldn’t be a competition (we can roll our eyes a little bit about John the evangelist referring to himself as the beloved disciple, no?). But if we were to play a silly little mental game of “who’s closest to Jesus?” I think we would all agree that Mary is at the top of the list. As Jesus’s mother, Mary had a unique closeness to him. She was the human person who first showed him love. She provided safety, warmth and security throughout his childhood. She taught him, guided him, and supported him. She was his mother. 

Countless people will play important roles in our children’s lives, and it certainly takes a village to raise a child. But there is no one to a child quite like his or her mother. Anecdotally, I see this play out all the time in my therapy office. Individuals can have everything else going for them – intelligence, good looks, physical health, economic resources – but if their relationship with their mother is troubled, so is their mental health. What’s more, a difficult relationship with one’s mom often (but certainly not always) makes it difficult for a person to establish and maintain other healthy, joyful and lifegiving relationships. Without learning from one’s primary caregiver that they are loved, cared for, valued, and safe, it can be hard for a person to receive these gifts from someone else. 

On the Memorial of the Queenship of Mary, can we spend a few minutes sitting with the reality that to be a mother is an honor, yes, but it is also a tremendous duty? May we take it with the utmost seriousness, reverence, and commitment. May we seek the support, pray for the strength, and commit ourselves to the growth required for the job.