I’ve been a reader of parenting books since the days in which having my own children was a dream versus reality, and both the practical tips and the philosophical wisdom that I’ve gained from these books have grounded and shaped me in countless ways throughout my journey as a mother.

One tidbit that I think of often – though I can’t remember which book it came from – is that these days we refer to the act of caring for children as “parenting” more so than “child-rearing.” I remember the author saying that this reflects the reality that so much of the work of parenting is actually less about disciplining, molding and refining our children and more about disciplining, molding and refining ourselves. In other words, “parenting” has more to do with developing the parent than it does with developing the child, though of course the former has major impacts on the latter. 

This idea resonated with me. Sure, there’s a part of me that wants to argue with the premise (a lot more happens in terms of emotional, physical and mental development for a 0-10 year old than a 30-40 year old!), but there’s also a part of me that wholeheartedly agrees. Parenting brings me to my knees a lot more than it brings my children to theirs! And, more than any other chapter or occupation within my life, parenting has repeatedly challenged, coaxed and nudged me into reflection, change and growth. I hope that I orient my children in the same direction, but I suspect that it’s their own life experiences – perhaps including parenting, one day – that will bring about this movement more than my words or actions towards them does. 

This is all to say: parenting is not for the faint of heart. It requires patience, humility and fortitude, and like all endeavors that ask much of us, it benefits from faithfulness, wisdom, and curiosity. All of these virtues are born through practice, through the day-in and day-out repetition of actions that feed our souls, nourish our minds and bodies, and draw us closer to our God and to one another. We need to be anchored in faith, hope and love in order to be able to withstand the tumultuous seas of raising children.

With that in mind, here are a few of the daily rituals that can anchor a Catholic mother:

Praying the Rosary

Praying the rosary can be a grounding practice for anyone, but the resonance feels especially strong for the mothers among us. When we pray the rosary, we orient ourselves around the life of Mother Mary – her joys, her sorrows, her glories and her moments of light. As we do so, we can reflect on and attend to those aspects of our own lives.

What’s more, through the repetitious nature of this devotion, we can calm our minds and our hearts. Praying the same words, over and over again, can be meditative, bringing us away from racing thoughts and into the present moment. Not only does this practice serve to settle our minds as we pray, but it also helps us develop the muscle of mindfulness. The more we practice being in the present moment, the more naturally it comes to us, and this is a trait that will always serve us in the parenting journey.

Complete a Daily Examen

The Ignatian practice of the Examen invites us to recognize God’s grace throughout each day, at the end of every day. It does this through asking questions aimed at discerning the consolations and desolations of the day: For what moment today am I most grateful? What experiences felt life-giving? When did I most sense God’s presence? When did I feel most content? On the other hand, what experience of the day drained life from me? When did I feel the most discontented, uncomfortable, and the least like myself? When did God seem absent in my life today? All of these prompts aim to help us grow in awareness of God’s voice and the Spirit’s movement throughout our day-to-day lives. 

Practice Gratitude 

It’s well-known by this point that practicing gratitude is good all around. On an individual level, it improves mental health by increasing dopamine and serotonin, thus reducing depression and anxiety symptoms. On a relational level, a culture of appreciation fosters connection and feelings of love and happiness. When we reflect on the people and things for which we are grateful, we make the world a warmer place for ourselves and the people around us: our partners, our friends, our neighbors and our children. 

A gratitude practice can look like taking a moment after mealtime grace for everyone at the table to share something from their day that made them grateful. Or it can look like keeping a running note on your phone or page in your journal to document the people, places and moments that gave you a boost of joy. Or it can look like sending a note a week to a person who means a lot to you, detailing the specific ways in which they’ve touched your life. This is a practice that sounds like giving to others, but is actually just as much nourishing your soul as theirs. 

When we return to these simple, faithful practices each day, we allow God to steady us amid the unpredictability of family life. The Rosary, the Examen, and a posture of gratitude become more than habits—they become anchors that keep us rooted in faith, hope, and love. In this way, we are not only sustained in the work of parenting, but gently transformed within it.